i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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