And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
