We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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