I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
