i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
