whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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