C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Non-Jews are for practice
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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