shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
