take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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