Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
