thus making me awesome and them whores
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
