We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
