it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
