come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
