I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
