i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize