you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize