mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
