I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
