Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
