Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
