I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
