talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
