my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
