Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
