just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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