Where is the hickey?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
