I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
