But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
