I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
