Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
