i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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