you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
