You made me cry and you don't even care
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize
