My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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