Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
