Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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