Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You work out of a Hotel?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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