I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
