I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
