My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
