When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
