Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
