i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
