Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
