I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
