remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
