so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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