I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize