Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
