I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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