playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize