What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Randomize
