i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
