ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
