she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
