i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
