sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
