I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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