i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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