nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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