yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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