Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
then he tried to convert me to islam
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Randomize
