Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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