Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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