weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
