I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
