I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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