quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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