i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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