i think my mom watched the whole time
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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